100 Business Days Out: Day 100 - PURPOSE.. (#1 Lesson)

And so it is, I am here. Day 100 of my 100 Business Days Out (in all honesty, I writing this two days later because it took me the extra time to really settle on this last post of this series. After 100 Business Days Out (which on some days seems an eternity and other days seems a blink of an eye), I have listened, talked, watched, experienced, and learned much. I started this journey as a way mush through what it is like to stop working cold turkey and figure out what to do next. Along the way there have been a lot of you have helped as you read the blog, dropped me a note of encouragement or said that something I have written resonated with you. I appreciate all of those comments. They helped a lot. I also during this 100 Business Days Out got to know myself again and to borrow Senator Clinton's line, "you helped me find my voice". Over the last 10 days I have tried and sum up the things I have learned during this period. That might have been more of a challenge than I was up to, but I hope the 10 lessons haven't been too trite. And on this last day, this last lesson, I don't want to stop the learning but rather transition from these 100 Business Days Out to another topic that has been the true lesson learned for me since April 3rd. I sincerely have no more clue what I should do next with myself than I did on April 3rd when I started this. It's too bad as I really wanted to have it nailed and be able to articulate it clearly on this 100th day. But, not to be and that's okay. It's okay with me because I went into this exercise time wanting to decide what I "should" be doing next. That "should" thing meant it would not be my own decision, it would be a decision informed by what is needed from me, what I could best contribute to make things better and what was important to be done. In summary, what was going to be my purpose going forward? And that is where I still am. I am listening and waiting for that call of purpose. Where does that call come from? For me, that call comes from God and no it doesn't come in a note in the mailbox like in the book "The Shack". God has never spoken to me that I could hear Him audibly. I believe He could if He wanted to and maybe He has tried and I wasn't willing or able to hear Him, but not likely. Instead, I believe God speaks to us through the Bible, through the intuitions we feel when we pray, through others who are like-minded, and through the circumstances of our lives. What I know to be true is that God does have a purpose for all of us. Whether or not, in our free-will that we are given, we choose to seek that purpose, find it, and live it, that is a different story. Where I am on this 100th Business Day Out is convinced that the lesson I was to learn during this period is that what I should be doing next is not within my own power but instead within the power beyond me and that it will not reveal itself to me until it is the right time and place that I am ready and willing to follow. It is the lesson of patience, faith and obedience.

In the meantime, the idea of purpose in what we do with our work is something I have long been passionate. We spend so much time in our work and it consumes, yes consumes like fire consumes wood and oxygen, all aspects of our lives, that we MUST seek our life purpose within our work if we are to ever be truly satisfied and fulfilled in what we do. I have many life experiences and have been blessed to have seen and done much within a short time that I want to give as much of that back as I can with the time left to do so. I don't know just yet the best way to do so, but I have come to how I should start. Beginning October 1, 2008, you can log into http://www.purposedworking.blogspot.com to find a daily business reflection of how to help make your working life more purposeful. I will be creating these for 365 days of work so that someone can drop in and check out as many as they would like, or follow along day to day. 365 small lessons to make the work life go a little better.

As for Bolts of Thinking, it will also continue and along the way with my random thoughts, I will keep you up to date with where I am seeing that purpose call coming from. And, when I answer it, I will be sure and let you know what it is that I decide to do next.

For now, thank you for being a part of my 100 Business Days Out travels. It has been my pleasure to give you a peak inside of me and I hope, that something along the way helped you too.

Thanks,
Rusty

100 Business Days Out: Day 99 - FINISH LINES .. (#2 Lesson)

Funny, how it is for me when I come to the end of anything, I always feel like the finish line is the biggest let down vs. the moment of peaking. I am amazed by athletes who can so tune their bodies and their attitudes to be ready for just that moment of competition. We just finished seeing that in the Summer Olympic Games. Imagining the readiness of four years of hard work either being completed or shattered within a two-week period is hard for me to fathom. I went into this 100 Business Days Out expecting to have peaked right about now. For me the peak would be that I would have figured out everything that needed to be figured out, done what needed to have been done, worked through whatever emotions were to be worked through, etc. For the most part, the only part I really got done was to work through the emotions thing. I can say that I have successfully worked through these and feel pretty comfortable now in my own skin so that I can flex and move in a number of directions without the worry of my self-esteem cracking. What finally got me over that finish line was the realization that everyone wants to be in this position and I just got to it earlier than most and that I shouldn't feel guilty or weird about it. And no, I am not wasting my potential by taking the needed time to figure out what it is I should do next. That said, I do believe that I (nor anyone) should just fold up their talents and take them to the beach. Talents are different than potential. Talents can go away if not used and exercised. It's a whole different topic (and one I will write on soon in another forum) but an important one to recognize in life. But for me, right now, I am good with where I am mentally. So, the learning of the finish line is one that I can see and understand more clearly now than before. Arbitrary finish lines that we create in life are just that, they are arbitrary. But, I, and many others I know make these finish lines seem so real that when we complete them we are let down because we have given so much to get to one place not recognizing that there is another mile beyond that has to be traveled. And worse yet, we build up these finish lines to be so monumental that if we miss them, we are devastated by the incompleteness and we struggle to get back up and try again. I have been there myself and I have seen way too many people in their work lives reach for these artificial finish lines whether it be promotions, new jobs, financial attainments, or retirement dates. Each time, if a year, month, week or even a day off from what was expected there is a sense of failure that exceeds the accomplishment of how far they have come or the recognition of how close they are to achievement. For me, I have come to realize that there are no finish lines. All things I strive for and goals I set are just mile markers along the way, along the path to something bigger in my life that I may or may not ever know what it is. None of this means that I will stop setting goals and objectives (this is way too ingrained in me to stop now) but it does mean that I will think differently about the definition of finish lines going forward. If I can remove the need to create these finish lines within my life and instead move forward in a steady progress, I believe I will be happier because of this lesson learned.

100 Business Days Out: Day 98 - LIFE TAKES A BIT OF TIME... (#3 Lesson)

...AND A LOT OF RELATIONSHIP. I sure wish this was my quote. It's not. It comes from page 92 of the book, The Shack, written by William P. Young. It does not matter what you think of the content of the book, the quote is one that I felt was telling as a lesson for me during these 100 Business Days Out. I went into these 100Business Days Out pretty sure that within 100 Business Days (which is many more calendar days with holidays and weekends) I would have the answer as to what I should do next with my life. I mean, come on, of course I could have the answer within this frame time, this is a lot of time, right? Well, I would like to say that on Day 98 I have the answer, but I don't. And, what I have learned is that you can't push these things. The time frame is not really my time time frame, it's a time frame that is bigger than me and I just must adjust and fall in line with what I hear and and feel that I am being asked to do next. The quote in the book as it relates to "a lot of relationship" is a reference to the need of relationship with God. That is for me, a truth, but it also means to me that in order to work through life in the way we are supposed to, it takes "a lot of relationship" with others as well. A great lesson during these 100 Business Days Out has been the power of relationships in life, but also for me, the need I have for strong and healthy relationships with Patti, my family, and my friends. And, where life is usually filled with all the things that put in front of relationship building and nurturing, it should be the other way around. If the days we spend, at work, or not, we were to start with the relationship first and then back into the rest of life with the patience of time letting things work out then that would be a better path. This inward out approach is the approach I hope to carry with me through the rest of my life. I expect this to be a lesson that I will carry with me forward. While I would have hoped that I could have come to this realization while I was working my 60-70 hours a week, I don't think I would have been able to internalize and make the lesson real and actionable. As the quote says, life takes a bit of time. The same is true for me and my learning...it takes a bit of time for me too.

100 Business Days Out: Day 97 - VERIFICATION AND VALIDATION (#4 Lesson)

During these 100 Business Days Out I spent a number of blog entries on the validation one receives from their work and how that affects self-esteem and self-worth. There is no doubt that had I fallen way more victim to the coupling of what I do/did to who I am than I ever thought I would. I beleive it must have snuck up on me over the years and with each and every time that I would describe myself first by my job title and company that I was subconsciously reinforcing the welding together of work and self-worth in my life. Once removed (which took the same force that it takes a torch to cut through a weld) I have become more comfortable in who I am and how I verfify who I am with others. I now don't start with what I do. I can't since I don't have that crutch. I am more discplined to be thoughtful in the description of who I am trying to "become". The learning that has been of the mostimpact for me is that the verfication of who you are by who you are working to become is what people really care about anyway. Sure, it is always immediately gratifying to see the eyebrows of someone go up when they hear that you work at a company they admire or your job position is one that they admire or aspire to achieve. But, like instant gratification, that is fleeting. What people really care about, if they will talk honestly and openly, is who you are a character filled and purposed human being. Even in the work world we are not drawn to emulate those who solely just do. We instead look up to those who do in a way we know is the right way; with integrity, caring, excellence and quality of the action. Isn't that what we want in our personal lives as well? So, I have come to learn (not easily) that the verification of who I am with others (who I know or may be meeting for the first time) is for them to see a human being who is working to become (I don't know that the journey ever ends) a quality, trustworthy, caring and positive human being. From that platform, I can then receive whatever validation I may need to hold up self-esteem and self-worth. Try the next time to answer the question, "what do you do?" with an answer that starts with, "well...what I am doing is working on becoming a better person by (fill in your own blank)...." It is in this answer to the everyday question that I have come to find more about how I verify and validate who I truly am.

100 Business Days Out: Day 96 - THE MIND AND SPIRIT ARE MUSCLES TOO (#5 Lesson)

It's been great to exercise so much during these 100 Business Days Out. I am reminded daily of the price of age with my physical workouts whether it be a run, a bike, a swim or other activities. But, I am also reminded that both my mind and my spirit are like muscles as well that must be exercised to keep from atrophying. I have used the time away to read a whole bunch. Since June 25th I have read six books and will knock off another two or three before the end of the summer. Some of them, like James Fenimore Cooper's Pioneers, McGrath's Christian Spirituality, and Doris Kearn Goodwins' Team of Rivals, were honestly difficult reads. The others less so, but without a doubt I have been reminded that to keep up, the mind must be exercised as as diligently as the body. Also the discipline of this blog and other things I do for my mind have been great. Writing for myself and others is a great exercise of the mind for me. But just as important, if not more important, is the exercising of the spirit. What I mean by this is the spirit that is faith in God and love for one another. Just because one has faith in God does mot mean that this shouldn't be exercised as rigorously as the exercise of body and mind. I have found that the moments in my life that I have needed my faith to make it from point A to point B has each and every time been because my faith was strong enough already to get me there when needed. For me, I exercise this part of my spirit through a daily devotional time, prayer and time with other like minded people. But even harder is keeping the muscles of spirit around love for others strong. I'm not talking about the love we have for those in our families or love life, but I am talking about the love for the not so nice neighbor, the love for the fellow co-worker, the love for the person who doesn't expect the extra attention or care from you. I have lots of people like this every day in my life that if I am not careful and conscientious, I miss the opportunity to ask how they are or offer my assistance when they have a need. This summer I was challenged a number of times with this either through the finishing of the construction project here and the hassles that came from others during that time, or the uncertain times with Louie and seemingly uncaring doctors, etc. Each and every time I am faced with those moments, I have a choice to either respond in a loving and caring way or to take the easy way out and fight back or internalize a response that festers. We all know the heart is a muscle. I believe that the love that comes from our hearts can harden and atrophy, if not exercised, just like the physical heart that does not get enough exercise to keep it pumping the blood like it should. For me, it stands to reason that the mind and the spirit are two critical muscles that I must continuously exercise, like I do my body to ensure that I am living and becoming the person that I am supposed to be. Having the time to focus on this has been great and I anticipate continuing to build these muscles to their maximum strength and longevity for a lifetime of mental and spiritual health.

100 Business Days Out: Day 95 - LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS... (#6 Lesson)

...WHILE YOU ARE PLANNING IT. How true is this? I think back to how I got to these first 100 Business Days Out and if I could rewind time nine months prior to April 3rd (the beginning of this free time)I would not have been able to tell you that I would have ended up with the company sold and me having all of this time to figure out what I should do next. It's a long story, which I am glad to tell anyone who is interested, but I will never forget the Friday afternoon about a year ago when I was standing in Penn Station getting ready to board a train and my cell phone rang from the investor who was going to lead the next investment round for SNOCAP. What I heard on the other end of the digital transmission was that because of this "issue" coming that had something to do with some problems with sub-prime mortgages (this was a few weeks before we read it in the papers)that this investor's hedge fund could not now make the investment in SNOCAP. That was the beginning of what ended up a decision a few months later to sell the company. I could not have known this was coming and was not planning for it, but it hit me out of the blue and it was real. That's a real life esample, but not a disastrous one like the deaths of Tim Russert and Randy Pausch were. I have written about both of them a couple of times during these 100 Business Days Out. They both hit me hard. The lesson that comes from these examples is that we just don't know what is going to come next. Change or tragedy, they both can come from left field as we are planning what tomorrow will bring. I am a planner. I always have been and I suspect always will be. I like to be able to see what is coming around the corner and be ready for it. And in many cases, that is what makes life run better for me, but that's not the way life always work. And because of that I know I can spend too much time looking to the future versus living in the present. These 100 Business Days Out have been really good for me on this front. I have found myself living more in the moment, perhaps because there is nothing to plan for the future, but I would like to believe it is because I am listening more to the heeding of others who for one reason or another have missed days and opportunities in their lives. Once a day is lost, it can't be taken back and beleive me, they go faster and faster each year. So, I know now more than ever that life is just what happens, reagardless of what you plan and how you plan for it. And with this lesson, it is more imperative than ever that I make the most of each and every precious day I am given.

100 Business Days Out: Day 94 - BOREDOM IS A CHOICE (#7Lesson)

When I was a kid I would get punished when I used the word "bored" or said, "I was bored". I was taught that there are too many things to do in life to ever become bored. It didn't make sense to me at the time, but it sure does now. There is never a reason to be bored. I marvel at the people I know who have retired and come back to work because they got bored. What I have learned over these nearly 100 Business Days Out is that becoming bored is a choice that one makes or not. I personally can't imagine that I would ever get bored, what with all that I want to do but haven't even been able to get to yet. What I think happens is that people misinterpret doing what they have always done (as the easy and known way) and trying and learning new things (the harder and more unknown) and when the new is too hard or they aren't good at it the first time, they stop. Then, they run out of things to do and consequently, they choose to become bored. I have seen some of that in me too. There are things which I want to learn to be good. They are new and different to me. They are hard and take time...maybe even the rest of my life to become good at them. They use different physical or mental muscles and because I know the things I am good at already (and like doing them and when I did them because I was good at them I got praised or rewarded) I want to continue to do them over and over. That would be a good reason to go back to work. But what an interesting and difficult cycle life can become. We take and change jobs because the work seems boring. We go back to work because we are getting bored out of work. The lesson to me is that boredom is clearly nothing but a choice of attitude and approach to life. There is no shortage of things for me to do, whether I am good at them or not. And, maybe this isn't the point in the first place. It's not whether I am good at them or not, it's what I am trying and doing to become good at something or to do good with what I do. My parents were right, and how much better we might all be if we felt punished or felt guilty every time we throught we were bored. Imagine the possibilities of the new things we would try and do if we all thought this way.

100 Business Days Out: Day 93 - YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE...(#8 Lesson)

...WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS LOOKING. It is true, you are who you are when no one else is looking. I knew this going into the 100 Business Days Out, but I did not comprehend it as fully as I know it now. What I know now, after this time of no one else looking is that there is a "me" that becomes the default for the things I will do and not do when left to my own time, demands and constraints. I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago who is a recruiter and he says that he sees a lot of executives who go to take time off and they end up in a bad place with bad behaviors, etc. I guess I can see that happening to people too as their default mode would be that when no one is looking. For me, I have found that when no one is looking I have come back to the basics: spirituality, relationships, physical conditioning, and doing my best within those three areas. It's not really true that I never have anyone looking, as there is family and friends and they each set their own level of accountability with me, but when I remove all others (work and outside influences) I find a life baseline that is more me than not. What I have also found to be true is when I remove these other "eyes" that I am driven more on fundamental principles of human nature. For example, I have found that bad habits are easy to establish and hard to break and good habits are hard to establish and easy to break. That is why, when all is said and done, I need others to be looking. I need others; family , friends, and yes, the outside influences to help me be accountable and be stronger than what I would be without them. I think of just the simple things that I do for myself that are good. I am a runner. I like to run and when I don't, I get irritable and don't feel good about myself. So, I will run, with or without others watching. But, to run a little further, push myself a little harder and add a stronger base for the future, I need other influences to push me. Signing up for a race and then letting others know I am going to do it helps me get pushed to train harder and complete the race as best I can. I can take this philosophy into my spiritual and relationship categories of my life as well. So, I have learned that I am who I am, regardless, but to think that life can be lived in a cocoon and still become the best I can be, is a fallacy. I need to have others watching to be the best I can be.

100 Business Days Out: Day 92 - REAL FRIENDS (#9 Lesson)

As hard as it is to realize, your "real friends" are those that call and reach out to you when they don't need anything from you. During this 100 Business Days Out, I have seen both sides of this. Early in the time away there was a flurry of people who reached out to "help and assist". They were well intentioned and they would have done what I needed if there was something to be done. And, I want to believe that they would have done it because they wanted to, not because they knew if they did something for me, I would be there to return the deed in the future. Then there were those who knew I had time on my hands and they reached out for me to assist them. This ranged from taking meetings, reviewing businesses, giving career advice, making connections and introductions, etc. I did a lot of this. It felt (superficially I have since learned) connected and "in the game". These were the most disappointing interactions as some of them became very deep and elongated and at the end of what the other person needed, they disappeared. In fact, with two long time friends who were going through job changes I spent a whole bunch of hours on the phone with them and then never heard anything since. In fact, one of them, after giving references, talking to the headhunter to help build his development plan in the new company, etc. I can't even get an email response back from him to see how things turned out. What I have determined is that while these are people who I would call good friends, they are not "real friends". What I have learned is that "real friends" are the ones who care about you and reach out to help when there is no return need, or no need at all other than to be there for you. During these 100 Days Out for me, there have been six people who fit into this category. These are the people who have been checking in by email or phone calls to just "see how you are". You know who you are, and I thank you. What this lesson as taught me is that as I build this next phase of life that the time I have to spend should be spent with those that meet the criteria of "real friends". With so little time left, it is more important than ever to recognize that this is where it should be spent. The lesson also tells me that I need to do my own soul-searching and decide who I can be a "real friend" to as well. I am just as guilty as the others and I am sure there are people who feel the same about me as I might feel about them when I don't call or write. The lesson goes both ways and it is a real lesson to learn; the lesson of how to be a real friend.

100 Business Days Out: Day 91 - EXPERIENCE (#10 Lesson)

I can't find out who exactly said it first (lots of people take credit for it) but the quote "a man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument" is a lesson from these 100 Business Days Out that I will cerainly take with me. It can be said in many other ways, like walk 100 miles in the shoes of another man, etc. but the point is the same, in order to talk about someting with authority it is better to have experience vs. just talk about doing it. I always felt that way in my business life and for those who I managed, I always told them that they needed to be in the middle of the fray to understand what was really going on and to be able to speak from a position of credibility. Without this, you were just an observer. These 100 Business Days out for me have allowed me to walk in the shoes of those who have been out of work, either by choice or had the rug pulled out from under them. I have a new language that I can speak with others who have gone or are going through the same thing. It's like speaking a foreign language. You think you can do it but it's not until you become fluent in the language through immersion that you understand the nuances and messages behind the words. It is now, through these 100 Business Days out that I have come to an experience that wins out over any argument. This is a lesson that I take with me and encourage you to think the same when you are up against an issue or dealing with something that someone else is going through. Take a walk in the experience and shoes of others and on the backside of it, you will see a different side of you and a credible side will be seen by others.