100 Business Days Out: Day 97 - VERIFICATION AND VALIDATION (#4 Lesson)

During these 100 Business Days Out I spent a number of blog entries on the validation one receives from their work and how that affects self-esteem and self-worth. There is no doubt that had I fallen way more victim to the coupling of what I do/did to who I am than I ever thought I would. I beleive it must have snuck up on me over the years and with each and every time that I would describe myself first by my job title and company that I was subconsciously reinforcing the welding together of work and self-worth in my life. Once removed (which took the same force that it takes a torch to cut through a weld) I have become more comfortable in who I am and how I verfify who I am with others. I now don't start with what I do. I can't since I don't have that crutch. I am more discplined to be thoughtful in the description of who I am trying to "become". The learning that has been of the mostimpact for me is that the verfication of who you are by who you are working to become is what people really care about anyway. Sure, it is always immediately gratifying to see the eyebrows of someone go up when they hear that you work at a company they admire or your job position is one that they admire or aspire to achieve. But, like instant gratification, that is fleeting. What people really care about, if they will talk honestly and openly, is who you are a character filled and purposed human being. Even in the work world we are not drawn to emulate those who solely just do. We instead look up to those who do in a way we know is the right way; with integrity, caring, excellence and quality of the action. Isn't that what we want in our personal lives as well? So, I have come to learn (not easily) that the verification of who I am with others (who I know or may be meeting for the first time) is for them to see a human being who is working to become (I don't know that the journey ever ends) a quality, trustworthy, caring and positive human being. From that platform, I can then receive whatever validation I may need to hold up self-esteem and self-worth. Try the next time to answer the question, "what do you do?" with an answer that starts with, "well...what I am doing is working on becoming a better person by (fill in your own blank)...." It is in this answer to the everyday question that I have come to find more about how I verify and validate who I truly am.