100 Business Days Out: Day 49 - Tim Russert

Say it ain't so. The news of Tim Russert's passing sent shock wave through the country and through me. As I listened to the reports and saw the TV coverage (and the outpouring of others), I was struck by the once again lesson that we all need to remember, but so often forget until someone like Tim Russert is taken from life early and unexpectedly. That lesson is that life is fragile. I mean really fragile. Here today, gone tomorrow. Unless we don't know something, Tim didn't get up that morning and have a notion that today was the last day he would walk the earth. I suspect just the opposite. He got up, worked out in the morning, went to the office and looked at his day and jumped in like every other day full of life, vigor and excitement. And, then in a moment, with a collapse, he was gone. There was no chance for goodbyes, hugs, kisses, handing down of special memories or artifacts of his life. In sports we finish ties with a sudden death round or period. We should live every day as if we are in the sudden death round. That means different things for different people but if internalized we can live today differently and include that hug and kiss that could be the last. In my working career I never experienced someone dying of natural causes at the office while I was there although it had certainly happened many times within some of the companies I worked for. I can only imagine what the experience and long-lasting impact would be like to watch a colleague die at the office. If that wouldn't make you rethink life and your priorities, nothing would. That should be the nudge that the death of Tim Russert reminds us of. Life is short, our work is important but not the most important thing in life, and that each day is a fragile piece of crystal that we balance on our heads as we make our way through the day. We will miss you Tim, but thanks for the lessons that you taught us in your life and in your unexpected and way to0 premature departure from life.

100 Business Days Out: Day 48 - Validation

Todd and I had lunch at the Peninsula Hotel's Roof Top cafe. We sat outside and talked about his job, me, life, friends and the other stuff that best friends from college talk about. What a juxtaposition with me there in my shorts and flip-flops and Todd in his very sharp business suit and tie. The power executive and the unemployed guy hanging out on a Thursday afternoon. It was quite fun and relaxing. As we were leaving the restaurant and I was walking him back to the lobby, I remembered that we should get his valet parking validated before he left. So we took the elevator back up the 5th floor and as we requested our validation we made a joke that it always feels good be validated. And it does feel good to be validated. We do that in lots of different ways. For me the feeling of validation can come from the positive word, the successful meeting, the applause after the presentation, the follow up request for more of my time. Today, the validation came not only from the parking stamp but also the follow on email from Todd that said nothing more than he really enjoys spending time together. And that not only validated the time and our conversation, it made my day. We don't take the time to validate each other enough do we? Just that one extra comment, word, note or call that says at its essence, "I like you and I like being with you" might be the greatest validation any of us can obtain. We guys, more than women, don't do it enough, but none of us do it enough. If the day was spent doing nothing else but building others up and making them feel better about themselves, it would be a day well spent. The next time someone asks, the answer should be. "yes, I do validate!".

100 Business Days Out: Day 47 - Presence Power

Today Patti and I were in LA for the Warren Beatty AFI Life Achievement Award. We flew down in the afternoon and then in the evening went to dinner at Wolfgang Puck's Spago in Beverly Hills. When you go to Spago you expect to get great food, tremendous service and a hip and welcoming atmosphere. As expected, it lived up to every bit of that and more. But what struck me, and I know it is common course for him but I still find it extraordinary, is that Wolfgang himself still comes out of the kitchen and goes table by table to meet, welcome and ask his customers how the food is for them. You know, he is Wolfgang Puck, not the new chef in the new restaurant who needs to come out of the kitchen to add personality to the restaurant and the food. This is Wolfgang Puck; the recognizable celebrity chef who long ago made his face a household image and his reputation one of top-shelf quality and consistency. He doesn't need to come out of the kitchen and do the walk-around. But, he does, consistently each night when he is in the restaurant. He really doesn't have to, but he does. And you know what? It works. Every head in the restaurant, from celebrity, to regular-goers, to the first timer stopped their meal and waited for him to come to their table. And when he did, it was a handshake, smile and request for feedback from each person at the table. While on the surface it doesn't seem so extraordinary that he does this, but think when it was the last time you ran into the CEO of a Hotel Chain or the President of the Bank, or the chef at most of the mediocre restaurants you might frequent. I've also never had the CEO of the Power company stop by as he/she was on the route with the meter reader. What Chef Puck knows is the power of presence and he uses it wisely. He manages his brand like we all should. His happens to be being there in the presence of his customers fearlessly looking for someone to complain if they need to do so. For the rest of us, we have our own presence power that comes with what we do. If we would all think about using our presence as a mainstay for our brand and reinforcing that presence with our customers, partners and employees, we could have that same magical effect that Wolfgang Puck has on others when he comes out of the kitchen and into the dining room. It's a great lesson to remember. Thanks Chef Puck.

100 Business Days Out: Day 46 - Midday Beauty

We toil in our offices, we grab lunch from the cafeteria or vending machine and take it back it to our desks, we hunker down in closed conference rooms with presentations running all day and when we come home we hear, "what a beautiful day it was". We give a bewildered look and shrug our shoulders and say, "yeah, I guess it was...what I saw of it". The truth is we didn't have a clue if it was hot or cold outside on many a day. The weather was what it was on the way to work and the way home and not much more than that. I don't know if this is how it is for you, but for me, it was pretty much that way for most of my career. I would go weeks and months before I would step outside within the regular business hours. And to what detriment? At the time, it didn't seem like much, because what was a pretty day missed, especially in Northern California where every day is the same from April to November? But in reality, a missed beautiful day is a missed opportunity to enjoy a gift of life. I've taken now to being sure that I am outside as much as I can be these days and what I am finding is that the middle of the day is more often than not, just downright gorgeous. And with a run or a walk or just eating lunch outside and taking in the fresh air, there is a rejuvenation that takes place that makes the rest of the day go better and forecasts an optimistic look for tomorrow. The world looks sharper and more full in the middle of the day. Now that my eyes are open, I can't see ever going back to missing out on the midday beauty.

100 Business Days Out: Day 45 - Wind Down

The day has finally come. The end to the long list of unscheduled meetings and commitments is coming to an end. I can now look at my calendar and see open blocks of time. I had been looking out over the calendar horizon both anticipating and dreading the day. The anticipation was all about having the free time to work on reading, writing and giving back projects. The dread was the fear of moving into the realm of out of touch and irrelevant. As I gingerly step into this phase the same emotions are still with me. Today I was able to spend time on some chores that needed to be done around the house and I was able to not only get my run in but also get over to the gym for a workout...the first time that I can remember when I had the time to do two workouts in a day. That was great. What I need to continue to remember is that this time is really all about he wind down. It's not about the next thing...not just yet. As I head into a true wind down period (July and August) it remains to be seen if I can truly "enjoy" the time but I am trying my darndest to do so and remember that this is such a gift to have. Who would have thought I was such work-junkie?

100 Business Days Out: Day 44 - Investment Time

Today was the first true day that i was able to follow through on the commitment that I had made to Patti that we would take Fridays and make them "P&R Play Days". Every Friday up to now has been overtaken by something that got in the way. But today we were able to carve the day out for us. Not that we did anything special. Even though the day was spent running errands and shopping together, it was a good return on investment day nonetheless. Over the years I have talked about the deposits and withdrawals that we make in our relationships. More often than not our work can become a source of consistent withdrawals without a lot of opportunities for deposits. So, we end up doing all we can to find ways to deposit attention, time and energy into our relationships in a way that doesn't interfere with our work. For me, this became increasingly difficult and if there was a balance sheet to refer to, I couldn't make it balance. So, now I am trying to make up for those lost times by doubling down on the time and flipping the priorities around. It is a good endeavor and there is definitely a return on the investment. The sad part is that it has taken me this long to come to the realization that I should have built the investment/deposit time into the regular routine years ago because those missed opportunities can never be replaced or reenacted. If you are reading this and this strikes you at all, I would suggest that you look at next week's calendar and find two hours that you can call your significant other right now and say "hey if we could spend two hours together next (blank) at (blank) time what would you like to do?". I think you will find it a worthy investment.

100 Business Days Out: Day 43 - Significant?

As you know, part of the journey for me is to understand if there is something "significant" I am supposed to do next with my working life. Today was an interesting set of things that I could throw in that bucket and mix around a bit. I met with a Solar Energy company about a Board seat, I spoke to a group of people at HP about Talent and the need for better HR professionals, and I met with a VC who told me how his job was changing to be more of a managing director like set of responsibilities and he wasn't sure he liked that or not. What made each of these feel "significant" was that each of these meetings were about change, the future and about improvement. Reflecting on each of them, I could see a significance in each. And when I boil them all down what I see is that when I am talking with others about how they can make their work like better, I find joy in that. When I can listen to their stories and see their passion in their work and I can add even a smidgen of assistance, I find that rewarding. The juxtaposition of the three today helped me see that there is significance in anything where you are helping others. How easy it is to overlook that simple concept.

100 Business Days Out: Day 42 - Who Not What

I'm not sure why, but I can tell you that this week there has been a shift. My meetings with people have not been about "what" I have done or "what" I will do, but rather the meetings have focused more on "who" I am. How refreshing this has been and stimulating. I am finding that more and more people want to engage at that level and without an opening to do so, unfortunately will stay on the surface. this week, it feels like I am the portal of permission for people to be able to talk about who they are, what they believe in, and what is important to them in life outside of work. I have had more conversations about my faith in the last week than I have had in the last three years. And it is not because I am bringing it up. What this reinforces to me once again is that we want to interact at a much more human level than what we bring to the water cooler or the Board table. If there is this much pent up demand for these conversations then it also tells me that the companies that allow and encourage and provide forums for these types of dialogues will be the ones where work transcends the company and becomes instead a glue that brings and keeps people together. That is the work environment that will win and the one where I would want to be. There's a pretty cool organization out there called WorldBlu, run by Traci Fenton. It's worth checking out and looking at the companies that she works with. Those are the ones that you may want to think about tilting your dollars towards because those are the companies who do care about "who" you are, not just what you will get done today.

100 Business Days Out: Day 41 - History

More about today tomorrow, but I thought it worth stopping and marking that this day, my 41st day out was the same day that history was made with Barack Obama winning the Democratic Party nomination for the President of the United States. Whether or not you agree with him and his policies, we have done something extraordinary by electing an African American to be one of two people who will compete for the highest office of the land. In the scheme of history it was not that long ago that "we the people" did not include african americans and today I believe we can all be proud of our country, our government, our democracy for allowing that regardless of all of our woes and problems, it holds itself true that anyone who so desires has the opportunity to become the President of the United States. It is a great and wonderful country we live in.

100 Business Days Out: Day 40 - The Car Wash

Today I was driving by Ducky’s Car Wash in San Mateo. To my total surprise, Ducky’s was hauntingly empty. I had never seen this before. As I drove by and looked in to see how long the line was (which is a natural instinct for me whether I need my car washed or not) and didn’t see any cars, I thought it must be closed on Mondays. But then I saw that they were indeed drying some cars and well, I just couldn’t resist pulling in and taking advantage of the clear sailing. So, I did. And guess who was there? It wasn’t the weekend Dads with their sons taking their weekly male bonding “want to go to the carwash? “ trip. It wasn’t the young couples who are out doing their weekend errands of which getting the car washed is one, and it wasn’t the single guys with their expensive cars who jump in and help dry the car to be sure that the staff get to every spot. Nope, none of the above. Instead, it was the stay at home mom with the kids who are too young to be in school and two couples who were at least 30 years older than me. I was the only guy in there by myself and the only guy who was of working age. Beyond the different crowd, and the lack of crowd (including that the shoeshine stand was closed too…guess not enough shoes doing the week to justify him being there), what I realized was that the carwash actually has all of the answers for all of your questions. I don’t know why I didn’t think about it before; it’s the true one-stop shop for self-help. Beyond having the greatest selection of greeting cards, there is the table of self-help books that cover every topic from how to talk to your kids about their poop, to how to raise a son, to how to strip furniture, fix a flat tire and lo and behold, right there in front of me, a book on how to retire. The book that answers all my questions, searching, ideas and consternation on how to spend your time when not working was right there, in paperback, staring right at me. What have I been doing wasting all this time blogging, the book has already been written and it’s available at the car wash. Of course it would be at the car wash…it’s where you would go to hang out when you have too much time on your hands. I should just stop writing right now and start quoting from the book. I really shouldn’t be so sarcastic as the book is quite thorough and thoughtful from what I could glean from the table of contents and a scan of the pages. But, since I don’t want to find all of the answers all at once I didn’t buy it. I figured that with all that good information and no lines during the week that I will certainly be back to the car wash soon (don’t they give you a discount if you come back within a week?) and if I still am searching for answers I might pick up the book and see if I can take a shortcut and read the car wash book on not working.