Oh, Those Names and Acronyms We Choose

Those who know me know that I love nothing more than a joke or a one-liner that turns a word or a sentence into something else funny. My college friend Todd got so accustomed to it, that he could see them coming a mile away. As such, I am a cynic and many times a critic of naming conventions and acronyms. I go back to the days when Chevy released the Nova into Latin America. It was heard as "no go" (Should we have not seen GM’s problems even then?)I also cringed when I heard a United Airlines flight attendant say that their low-cost airline “Ted” was just “United without the U and I”. It also seems everything has to have an acronym or somebody doesn’t feel like they have done their job. American politics and programs are littered with acronyms and made up names, Fannies, Freddies, PACs, ACORNs, etc, etc. The most recent example that makes me giggle is T.A.R.P. Did the Treasury Department really need to come up with this and do they think that it makes me as a consumer feel any better about the program? I could argue that once again, someone wasn’t thinking. What does a tarp represent to most people? Yes, it is a temporary cover or shelter, which I can see where they were going with this, but for me a tarp is vulnerable and susceptible to strong winds and other flying foreign objects. It is only as effective as the stakes or lines that secure it in place and more often than not when we have to use a tarp we are worried about it blowing away and it does nothing but cause us more problems because we can't, or choose not to, fix the root problem. Maybe that is what TARP is supposed to do, but I know that its connotation has held up already that when the winds starting blowing differently about how to use the bailout monies, that Secretary Paulson was quick to change directions and stop buying loans and debt and instead focus on purchasing bank equities. Personally, I would have preferred not a TARP but rather a ROOF (Restructuring Of Opportunistic Financials) or a FLOOR (Federal Legislation Offering Opportunity & Restructuring) or maybe even some OOMPHS (Organization Offering Orderly Permanent Housing Solutions), and even better than a TARP would be the HAIL MARY! (Housing And Ill-Fated Loan Management And Restructuring, Yes-sir!). For the time being though, we have a TARP and as the USS TODAY said in last week's editorial, “Give TARP a Chance”. Sagging and blowing, hopefully not leaking, yes give TARP a chance.