100 Business Days Out: Day 33 - Two Ears One Mouth

I’ve written a lot about all the different pitches that I have heard over the past few weeks. What I have determined is that one of the most critical skills that must be strengthened during the downtime is your listening skills. What a revelation, you might be saying cynically, but it’s very true during this period and it is different than when you are in a job, looking for a job, selling yourself, etc. In those cases, it is easy to find yourself feeling like the time you have in an hour with a recruiter or someone from the other company, is that you need to be sure and get out as much as you can about yourself. Time is limited and you want to make the most of it. But in this stage when time is not limited you can take the extra hour to dig deep, ask questions, think before you speak, make associations across your former work to the possible work. Most importantly, you can let the other person talk more about themselves and the company/position they represent. And guess what, everyone wants to talk about themselves and if given the chance will do it. And at the end of the conversation they will either consciously or subconsciously like that you listened to them. That creates a positive halo over you. Today, I had a conversation with someone talking to me about a Board position and I found myself falling back into the talking vs. listening mode and all of a sudden, I felt uncomfortable. After a few minutes, I knew why. I have been in listening mode and I slipped backwards. Once I realized what I was doing, I just shut up. And from there, I could tell that the conversation started going better. I felt better and I could tell that the person on the other end of the phone felt better. Yes, listening is a skill. It can get more and more developed and the more we use our listening muscles the stronger they will get. There are plenty of opportunities to talk and it’s a pretty good guess that our talking muscles don’t atrophy very fast. So, this is the best of times for the use of two ears and one mouth.